MY STORY ONLY MATTERS IF IT RESONATES WITH YOU AND GIVES YOU A SAFE PATH TO EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN AHA MOMENTS.
I always felt guilty, ashamed and angry. Nothing was ever good enough. I was taught to feel this way and it almost ended in tragedy. Once I started my healing journey, I was flooded with AHA moments and shocked at realizing there are THOUSANDS of people out there, suffering, just like me. I was not alone in my pain and you are not alone with yours. My upbringing consisted of divorce, abandonment, greed, negativity with a long family history with personality disorders. I was raised to be valued for what I do and not who I was. As a result I spent decades unsuccessfully chasing happy, being hyper-obsessed with tangible results and aggressively pursuing the wrong forms of validation. Then…I hit rock bottom and was forced off the insane perfectionist superhighway I put myself on. I now realize that my parents passed on what they knew. They didn't know what they didn't know. I am determined not to repeat generational dysfunction. My daughters have told me many times how grateful they are that I did not raise them the way I was raised. I am not a therapist. I am not a life coach. I just want to inspire people to begin their own healing journey.
Reparent the Self after a Life of Narcissistic Abuse and Attachment Issues
When you feel separate from the beings who created you-you feel separate from the self. When you have not been nurtured, you feel disconnected within. In order to integrate, we must learn to reparent the self. As we learn to heal within, we are more able to heal from emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, abandonment trauma, and traumas associated with living with alcoholics or abusive others. We must learn to observe how the mind perceived our outer world. If we are not careful, the early perceptions created in childhood become what we believe.
The root cause of emotional problems can often be traced back to negative early childhood experiences. Many mental health issues can come from toxic parenting which then affected how see yourself and the world around you. Painful childhoods can be a hellish mix of rage, greed, self-absorption, shame, divorce, guilt and abandonment. This mix can then become the poisonous consequences of what your parents passed down to you.
Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder, which can be purchased at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com.
Ross talks about how and why attachment trauma, or the harm caused to a child by their pathologically narcissistic parent causes codependency. Ross also teaches about his Trauma Continuum concept. He demonstrates that a form of PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is also responsible for the creation of codependency. He introduces the different levels of trauma and how they manifest emotionally, especially in dysfunctional relationships.