Six Painful Core Issues for A.C.O.N.'s
Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents grow up disempowered and disconnected from their authentic selves (ME). They fear retribution, punishment and condemnation, and struggle with a deep sense of inferiority and fear of rejection. Adult children of narcissists are overachievers (ME) and very skilled in pretending they have no needs, believe that they must present as demand-less in order to feel important, and that if they show their true self, they will be rejected.
In a narcissistic parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being herself or himself.
All the experts describe the narcissistic family as one where “everyone is rotating around the narcissist on continual high alert. Consistent high stress levels take a physical toll.” Therapists often see a pattern of extremely high anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, autoimmune disorders, depression, impulsive behavior and addictions of all kinds. As a result of emotional abuse, victims often engage in self-soothing behaviors but are actually self-destructive —behaviors such as substance abuse, eating disorders, workaholic lifestyle, self-harm, gambling, and shopping. For those who are raised with emotional neglect and abuse, it seems like the only way to cope.
by Julie L. Hall
Narcissism has become a buzzword these days often “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing,” to quote Macbeth. But for adult children of narcissists (ACoNs)—those who have lived with the narcissist disordered personality as their primary caretakers—the reality is painfully serious and the health stakes are high.