How I broke the cycle of generational dysfunction one AHA! moment at a time.
“A healer is someone who seeks to be the light that she wishes she had in her darkest moments.”
Most of my psychological problems and spiritual pain were rooted in something I couldn't control — powerful dysfunctional family behavioral patterns that came before me. I decided that I would not pass this ugly family system onto my children. There are thousands of people like me that come from toxic family backgrounds of pessimism, anger, deception, abandonment, divorce, greed, self-absorption and hostility. Unless someone decides to muster up the courage to WAKE UP and break this curse, these traits will be passed on to our children...and then their children. Toxic family patterns become the model for the next generation and this vicious unhealthy cycle is repeated over and over again. In 2014, I hit rock bottom. HARD. That's when I woke up.
One of many AHA! moments I have had on this healing journey.
The thing about being an ACON (adult child of narcissist) is that it usually causes a "loss of soul". Soul loss is the inability to connect with our true self because of emotional neglect, unresolved wounds, and distorted perceptions we’ve accumulated over time. Deep down, we are not consistently loved. The message is "You’re only as good as I say you are, and you’ll be loved only if you’give in to my unreasonable and constantly changing demands". The worst thing about this experience is that the the narcissistic parent is painfully oblivious. The first step in healing is to be willing find the courage to explore what you went through as a child and put a name to it. This healing process will help you understand the root cause of pain you’re still experiencing, to learn how to get rid of it and to move on with your life. This becomes a strengthening and rejuvenating process.