We cannot heal what we cannot see.  Our family of origin provides the foundation for attachment style, communication patterns, negotiating boundaries, emotional regulation, and self-worth. For many of us trying to heal from emotional abuse, it takes courage and awareness to realize that toxic parents don't understand that unhealed dysfunctional dynamics are poisonous. They are simply incapable of acquiring new coping strategies and pass on the same suffering they endured.  This cycle can be broken.  It can end with you the way it ended with me.  Change is scary.  We crave certainty even if it is awful.  Sometimes emotional abuse patterns continue because we are waiting for someone to give us “permission” to change. You don't need permission.  It's a very brave decision to decide that staying the same is more painful than taking that first scary step to heal and grow.  Toxic parents are threatened by changes in their children as it destroys the "family system" and all the illusions and lies that go along with it. They will react and lash out. Stay strong.  Stay focused.  Be resilient. In the process of healing from unhealthy family patterns and discovering who you were really supposed to be, it is crucial for you to develop and maintain trust in your own perceptions and feelings. Change begins with you.  I've been fortunate to be guest on some wonderful podcasts devoted to healing from a toxic childhood.